Candyland

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In the latest issue of The Hollywood Reporter, actress Juliette Binoche spilled the cacao beans.  During the filming of the 2000 film Chocolat, she discovered that her co-star, Johnny Depp “actually didn’t like chocolate.”

“He was spitting it out after every take,” La Belle Binoche said. “Alfred Molina didn’t like chocolate that much, either.  It was a funny experience dealing with them and the faces they would make.”

I have a confession to make.  Johnny Depp, Alfred Molina and I all have something in common.

We do not like chocolate.  It’s just too sweet for our delicate taste buds.  What I do love is licorice.

Give me the black Chuckle every time.

Here’s how I eat my Chuckles:

Red, orange, yellow and green.

I save the best for last.

The black one.

Now as I type this, I can hear a collective moan go out amongst my readers.

Most people I know loathe the black one.  They don’t like licorice at all.  I know I’m in the minority candy-wise.

That’s ok.  I can take it.

I’ve been ok with the minority report since I was a tot.  My dad liked licorice and so did I.

Calorie Counter Sidebar: There are four calories in one Good & Plenty. There are twenty-two in one Hershey’s Kiss.  I can indulge my licorice jones with impunity.

Even back when I was a kid and didn’t have to count the calories, I was crazy about Good & Plenty.  I savored the sweet crunchy-coated outside encasing the tangy licorice within.  (Could anyone taste the difference between the pink and the white one? I never could.)

I also loved a candy with the very un PC name of Mason’s “Black Crows.”  They’ve gone through sensitivity training and their name’s been changed.  Thank goodness they taste exactly the same.

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And for me btw, if it’s licorice, it’s got to be black.

Yeah, yeah, I know all about red and chocolate and grape and rainbow-flavored Twizzlers.  But these are merely mutant forms of chewy, ropy ersatz candy.

Self-respecting licorice is black and that’s that.

That’s takes in a lot of candy territory.

There are jelly beans and jelly bellies, licorice mix, licorice pipes, licorice snaps, licorice allsorts, Australian licorice, Nibs and these:

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Scottie Dog Licorice!  Cunning and delicious.  Natasha sent me a big box for Christmas one year.  I could hardly bear to eat them.  But I did.

I’m proud to say that both Natasha and Nick inherited my black candy craving.

I don’t know if it was sweet tooth nature or nurture, but neither one of my kids ever developed a hankering for chocolate.

But the down side was that as they grew up, I now had two little fierce rivals for the black Chuckle.

You’ve got to get ’em while they’re young.

Here’s the latest picture of my grandson, Sam.

FullSizeRender (15)
Photograph: Natasha Tofias

Oops.  Better make that three family rivals.

See you at the sweet shop, sweeties.

(And Johnny and Al, save the black Chuckle for me.)

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16 Responses to Candyland

  1. Jack C. Feldman says:

    Ellen — until now, I have never heard of a woman who does not love chocolate. That’s nearly as frightening as a woman who does not like sex. Frightening. As we speak, I think the executives at Hersheys and Fannie May chocolates have been terrified. And chocolatiers in Belgium and Switzerland are none too thrilled either.

    Imagine calling your children in from playing in cold weather and inviting them not with a cup of hot chocolate but with a licorice twist. The world just slipped one turn on its axis — in the wrong direction.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Are you in the thrall of the evil Chocolate Cabal, Jack? A very convincing argument but I’m sure you on the Godiva payroll. Thank you for the majority opinion today. I’m sorry I scared you.

  2. Jack C. Feldman says:

    Am I on the Godiva payroll? Well, of course. What guy in his right mind is not thrilled at seeing a beautiful woman with long blonde hair riding naked on a horse.

    It’s virtually an appeal to his Basic Instinct.

  3. Diane Freeman says:

    Great..We can go to the movies together as I will only have the red ones. That is where I would always buy Chuckles as a kid at Saturday afternoon double-feature movies…. So,we can trade and you can certainly have my black ones.Love CVS around Valentine’s Day as they have red hearts coated with sugar and they always sell out.They are Chuckles wannabes…Whatever happened to Nibs black licorice.?.I seem to remember there were camels on the box…Those were the only black licorice treats I liked.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      You get an A- Diane. I have to deduct points because I mentioned Nibs in my name-checking licorice paragraph. But other than that, full marks. Yes, we can go to the movies together. And I bet your sister could come up with a great licorice black and white theme party for me when I need one. Thanks, girlfriend.

  4. Ken Roffe says:

    Thanks for not mentionng I like chocolate licorice!!

  5. Scott Himmel says:

    Well, Ellen!
    I now get the whole deep emotional bond you have with my big sister. As children, she was the only one I knew who even liked black licorice. Not too far off, my older brother and I would only eat red licorice, with anything chocolate way down the list for all three of us. I, of course, as the youngest, had the dubious honor of riding my bike the 3 blocks to procure the candy. (The good part is that I never had to pay for it. Somethings never change.) (>:
    Scott

    • Ellen Ross says:

      You have something in common with my little brother. He was always delegated as the delivery boy/bike messenger. Isn’t that what little brothers are for? And you’re right, plus ca change. Love to the licorice-loving Himmel clan. I’ve got a Candy Crush on all of you.

  6. Gary W says:

    Ellen, somehow I remember discussing this with you before, but I also like the black Chuckle the best. However my favorite was the British (I believe) brand that I cannot recall. They sold individually silver wrapped rectangles of chewy black licorice. Do you remember them? BTW, I’m also fond of chocolate which to me is genetically correct for the human race. You may have fallen victim to some kind of virus as a child…maybe it was the vaccinations. You might consider seeing someone about this (possible only) flaw that I now know about you. There may be hope yet!

    • Ellen Ross says:

      I’m not sure, Gary. The Brits are mad for liquorice, as they would have it. There are Lion Liquorice Gums and Pontefract Cakes and Comfits and Bassett’s. Do any if there ring a bell? And OMG, I forgot about Black Jack gum! That was my favorite. Thanks, fellow licorice lover. You are perfect.

  7. Herbie Loeb says:

    We do differ. I dislike most licorice and love ALL chocolate, dark or milk or whatever. We’re back home after a cruise to Hawaii – there was considerable chocolate on the ship, the Star Princess.
    Herbie

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