Enough

handgun with bullets

No jokes, today.  Our kids are dying.

Let me state at the outset that I was a hand gun owner.

When Nick and I moved out to Colorado in 1996, I decided to learn to target-shoot. I had a friend, Bill, who had his own security firm, and he offered to teach me.

We met on a pistol range in Basalt and using paper plates for targets, Bill proceeded to instruct me in gun safety, etiquette and the proper way handle a hand gun.

But my fingers were too small and I couldn’t reach the trigger- let alone pull it.  So soon we were on our way to WalMart to find a gun petite enough for me to shoot comfortably.

I found one.

A sleek Sig Sauer nine millimeter semi-automatic in snazzy (what else) gunmetal gray- complete with its own nifty travel case.  The whole process- including licensing- took about an hour.

I also left the store with a box of bullets.  Which remained with Bill at his house.  I never wanted the gun and the ammo to be in the same venue as my sixteen year old- or his nosey pals.

So now armed with with my new little friend, I would meet Bill at the range for more target practice and gun safety drill.

Gabby Hayes Sidebar:  I have NO idea how or why this “Annie Oakley” syndrome started. From childhood, I have always hated loud noises.  My folks would have to turn off the television whenever I watched The Gabby Hayes Show.

It preceded Howdy Doody- another favorite- and I loved it.

Until the very end, that is.

Gabby was sponsored by Quaker Oats and its cereal was “shot from guns.”  Many’s the time that he would pull out a small cannon and shoot it at his television audience.  With that, I would get hysterical and so my parents learned to shut it off before he fired.

My dad would also have to beat a hasty retreat before the end of every night baseball game he took me to at Comiskey Park.  Bill Veeck would explode loud fireworks and I would start crying.

Go figure.  I still don’t like loud noises but I loved target shooting.

My ex husband, Bill?  Mmm…not so much.  In fact when he heard that I had bought a gun (courtesy of our housekeeper Klara’s tom tom) he went ballistic.

He went balls-to-the-wall ape and contacted his attorney, who contacted me to wit in re  that if I didn’t ditch the pistol forthwith, Bill would habeas corpus Nick right back to Chicago.

I knew that I had lost that quickdraw.  I immediately sold the gun and faxed the bill of sale to the hired gun in Chi-town.

(At the time I couldn’t figure out why my ex was so terrified by my new hobby.  But I didn’t know then what I do know now.  I get why he was quaking in his Avventura shoes…)

Whew.  A lot of back story.

That being said, I can now turn my attention to the shooting tragedy in Santa Barbara.

And Columbine.

And Virginia Tech.

And Newtown.

And Hubbard Woods.

Does the name “Laurie Dann” ring any (graveyard) bells?

As a Winnetka parent, I dodged a bullet on that one.

About a month before that heinous event, I met Joel Corwin in a popcorn line at the Edens Theater.  My brother Kenny introduced us, saying,”Ellen’s son is named Nick.”

Joel Corwin’s face lit up like he had been handed a present.

“You have a ‘Nick?’  I have a ‘Nick.'”

And with that, he pulled out his wallet and proudly showed me a photograph of an adorable eight year old Little League slugger.  He was in a green and white uniform and had struck a batting stance.

I remember the photograph perfectly- because I had the exact same one.

My eight year old was in the same Little League.  With the same uniform.  In the same pose.

And in exactly the same position in this mother’s heart.

There was only one difference.  A month later, a maniac named Laurie Dann did not come into my kids’ school and shoot up a classroom full of third graders.

Her rampage took her to other elementary schools to spread her lethal trail of murder, twisted revenge and God only knows what else.

Better leave God out of it.

At the end of that horrific day, I had two children blessedly returned to me.

Nick Corwin’s mother and father didn’t.

This was their child.  And he never lived to see all the things that my son takes for granted.

A day on the mountain.

A hockey game.

College graduation.

A wedding.

Life in all its infinite wonder and glory.  Nick Corwin never had a chance to grow up.

My daughter Natasha- ten years old at the time of Dann’s killing spree- is now a first grade teacher in Boston.

How do you think I felt watching the ghastly news about Newtown, Connecticut?

And this latest shooting in Santa Barbara really has me up in arms.  (Pun intended.)

Women and children first, it would seem.  First to be targeted, first to be slaughtered by the cowards and misogynists and psychopaths who want to lash out at an indifferent world.

But I will let Richard Martinez, father of Christopher, have the last word on the subject.

This is what he said.

Please do what he asks.

For all our kids’ sakes.

Enough is enough.

Thank you.

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22 Responses to Enough

  1. I had just moved to Chicago when Laurie Dann became notorious. Having a son later, then a daughter who played soccer in Corwin Park only reminded me of the tragedy.

    Enough is, indeed, enough.

    Kudos to you for putting it into words even the morons can understand.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      I got an email postcard from the mayor(ess) of Santa Barbara and from Julianne Moore after I signed the petition included as a link at the bottom of this post. Both of them thanked me for joining the fight. I’m telling you this because I believe that this time, social media can make its voice heard over the din of the NRA. Let’s hope so. Thanks, Michael. For everything.

  2. Robert Boehm says:

    You always knew when to turn the sound off The Gabby Hayes Show so you didn’t hear the Quaker Oats shot. Right before that, he would tell his viewing audience to get away from their “televisionary” sets so they would not get sprayed with the cereal.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Not me. I insisted that the set be shut off. I was only three or four at the time. Thanks, Bob. You must be way older than me!

  3. Scott Himmel says:

    It seems like we are still fighting the Civil War – culturally. No one can hear or trust the opposing opinion. I don’t own or care about guns, but I did enjoy skeet shooting with my closest friend in my 30’s.
    It seems like the solution to allow rational recreational
    gun ownership would be easy and logical. Licensed legitimate dealers, following a logical check system after a license had been issued by the particular state (we don’t have a shortage of drivers) should be a minimum start.

    While it is true that if mental health is not treated with as much effort and resources as Aids, cancer and heart disease, terribly ill people will commit terrible acts of all kinds. It isn’t their fault. But at least their access to guns will have drastically been reduced.
    Diseases like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia are just as horrible as cancer and Aids.Only the life expectancy of survival is much lower!
    The cultural war I mentioned at the beginning must somehow be breached. The recreational hunter or gun enthusiast, who is in my experience, very careful about safely locking their guns away, have to be reached so they can make that reasonable intellectual jump to the facts of our current ineffectual laws.

    Laws do not keep ill people from access to guns. Two problems can certainly be attacked at the same time. It just takes national will to focus on diseases of the brain with all the resources possible- while reducing access to automatic weapons at the least.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thank you, Scott, for speaking to the concerns and rights of recreational gun owners. I am with you all the way. These guys should keep their guns. But I see no need for anyone to own an automatic assault rifle who’s only purpose is to kill as many people as possible in the shortest time possible.

      Mentally ill people will always be here. Some are violent, some not. Let’s make it impossible for ANYONE to get a hold of an AK-47. Thanks for this great comment. So important.

  4. Gary W says:

    Ellen, I think this is an important piece and very well expressed. My own leanings lie with Scott for the most part. I certainly believe in effective background checks – criminal and mental health, along with training and licensing. Personally, I have always enjoyed range shooting and generally see very serious, respectful and well trained people when I do go to a shooting range. They are some who are a bit out there in terms of 2nd amendment rights, but they also take safety seriously. These guys are not the problem.

    The sad part, I think, is that in 1996 when Bill went ballistic (sic) on you – and from what you’ve indicated in the past this may have also been about control for him- just about anyone could have walked into Sears, or even maybe the local sports store and bought a rifle….possibly even a handgun just like a tent or a Coleman stove. The laws were not there but society was different. Gun crimes were few and far between (the biggest one I remember circa’69 – actually May of ’70) was perpetrated by the National guard) we no longer live in that gentler and kinder world. The Jets and the Sharks would be carrying AK’s and Uzis now. Chicago had the strictest gun laws in the country until recently and also, by far, the most gun killings.

    I wish it could be different. I offer no solutions. I wish there was a way but when our elected officials are mostly self serving ideologues, with only the goal of reelection, I don’t see how postcards will help. I’d be happy if we could just take “not one more” step in the wrong direction as a society; as Americans.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thanks, Gary. I knew I could count on you for something cogent and fair. Thanks fir serving in on some of the problem. I do like the postcard. It certainly feels better than doing nothing but worry.

  5. Jimmy Feld says:

    We have the 1st amendment that guarantees us free speech but we can’t yell “fire” in a theater. What is the same analogy with regards to the second amendment and the right to bear arms. This and more is better discussed in a discussion at The Aspen Institute of Ideas in 2013. (Love this as much as TED). ” How can Congress act against 90 percent of the American public and get away with it? Why does the gun lobby win? We’ll explore this uncomfortable divide in an interview with the president of the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence.” Just google Aspen Ideas 2013 “gun disconnect”

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Yes, that is the question. Well, this postcard campaign feels like the first step in getting as organized as the NRA, and it gives people with a dissenting view some leverage with their Congressmen. I’ll check it out. You know I’m interested. Thanks for the tip, Jimmy. As ever, your fan

  6. Herbie Loeb says:

    Laurie Dann lived directly across the street from us in Highland Park. Scary indeed.
    Herbie

  7. Bernard Kerman says:

    Well, I warned you, Ellen….Here goes:
    I own a pistol. Funny, it NEVER killed anyone. Is my gun defective?
    I own a kitchen drawer full of knives. Funny, they have NEVER killed anyone. Should I have them checked to see of they’re sharp enough?
    I own an automobile. Funny, I have never driven drunk and killed anyone.
    How many of the psychos that have perpetuated mass shootings were members of the NRA?? None!!
    Please, the weapon (guns, knives, baseball bats, automobiles, etc.) OR the NRA are NOT the biggest problems we face to find a solution or prevent the next tragedy.
    There, I’m waiting for the criticism………….Let’s hear it.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Bernie, I knew you’d have a stand on this. You are a rugged individualist and you haven’t disappointed me yet. You make a valid point. (And we give people marriage licenses who shouldn’t have them, either. Yours truly, a case in point? I haven’t matrimonially hurt anyone. Yet.)

  8. John Yager says:

    There have always been lunatics. There have always been little guys who were bullied in school. There have always been dateless teens, and loners, and outsiders and outliers. And guns have always been available (my family’s had tons of them for at least the last 150 years, without ever thinking about shooting anybody.) So what’s different now? Why is this happening now? If we can answer that, we might have a chance to stop this.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Good points all, John. That’s a great question. We will have to discuss it – when I’m not swooning over those wedding films of your parents, that is. Happier days…

  9. John Yager says:

    Part of the answer (having watched 60 Minutes last night) is that the mental health system in the US is totally, horribly broken. Another piece of the puzzle is that crazy people, or anyone inclined to violence, can find like-minded friends, affirmation and instructions on the internet. Their madness now has a place to thrive and grow.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thanks for the reportage, John. Yes, our health system in general is broken and mentally-ill people actually get neglected, exploited and screwed over. They are marginalized or treated as criminals and as Scott Himmel said, their life expectancy is much shorter than a “sane” person’s. This is an illness that is still in the closet. Very hard for a celebrity to “come out” and admit they are in the throes of it. Kudos to beautiful Catherine Zeta-Jones for telling her truth.

      Thanks for caring, buddy.

  10. Jackie Rosenbloom says:

    Anyone hooked up to my Facebook can see me at the shooting range referring to myself as Annie Oakley. I guess learning to shoot is part of my package of growing up and moving to Arizona on my own. The gun laws here are so liberal I won’t even honk my horn at another driver.
    When I read about most of these horrific shootings I see that many are done by kids in high school. Raising my kids I always said “life under my roof is not a democracy.” They were “possibly” guilty and had to prove their innocence.
    I ask you where were their parents? Didn’t they look around the kids rooms? I sneaked lots of peeks into Matt and Abby’s domains!
    Many of the shooters kept ammunition and guns in their rooms and in their homes. Strange behaviors did not happen on the day of the shootings but appeared long before their rampages. …Didn’t Laurie Dann’s father help her to get a gun? Thank you, John Yager, for your comments on our insufficient mental health care. Poor mental health care, parental denial,ease of purchasing weapons and ammunition, our own awareness and laws are only part of what adds to the loss of really wonderful innocent children. I wish I had the solution…but I just sit here perplexed!!

    • Ellen Ross says:

      I’m so glad you wrote in. As one of your FB friends, I knew you spent some time on the range-like me. Colorado’s attitude re guns is very different than Illinois, too. Probably much closer to Arizona. And yes, I remember that about Laurie Dann’s father as well.
      And yet in the Santa Barbara shooting, the gunman’s patents blew the whistle on him and still the police couldn’t do anything preventative.
      As you say, I sit here perplexed.

      Thanks, Jackie. Really needed your POV on this one.

  11. Jillana says:

    Wow, Ellen, I’m so glad you reminded us it’s a lot more than once in a blue moon when it comes to gun violence in schools. & relinked to this great post that sadly, isn’t aged or losing relevance.
    I wish the fact we are not moving anywhere with this–“Not One More” reads as more than twice in a Blue Moon. BLAH.

    (Your current post is much more clever than Martian, speaking of Planets & their rubble & actors trajectories)

    Looking forward to more, Tho I wish this topic was Enough,
    Jillana

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thanks, Jillana. As a professor at Northwestern your words of approval provide an uniquely and sadly personal point of view on this awful topic. I am a mother of a first grade teacher and Newtown just about finished me off. Why should anyone be at risk because automatic weapons are easy to procure?

      On a lighter note, oh no! I’m seeing “The Martian” this week and was looking forward to a little escapism combined with a little science. Oh well.

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