CAUTION: This blog post is rated “S” for Steamy.
I’m well aware of the fact that many of you read me in bed on your phones and tablets early in the morning. And I’m very grateful that you have made Letter From Elba an integral part of your twice-a-week a.m. routine.
And forgive me, ladies. I always joke that on Sunday and Thursday mornings, I’m in bed with half the good-looking men in Chicago.
So given that this is probably pillow talk, let me ask you a personal question. Come on. Cuddle up a little closer. Let me whisper in your ear.
You know what a “hall pass” is, right? It means the one person in the world- usually famous and glamorous and not in your car pool or bowling league- that you have long admired from afar. That “certain someone” who just does it for you.
And that you’d love to go to bed with.
(I know. That’s ending a sentence with a proposition. I mean a preposition.)
The tacit understanding being that, because of your historical preference for that person, coupled with the highly unlikely eventuality of you two ever meeting IRL, that your spouse would turn a just-this-once blind eye and not hold it against you alimony-wise in family court.
Okay. So who’s yours?
In case you’re hesitant, I’ll go first.
Easy. In a walkover, it’s Alain Fabien Maurice Marcel Delon.
No contest.
All-time, Hall of Fame, DROP DEAD GORGEOUS French actor. And major heartthrob.
Over the course of his film career Monsieur Delon has worked with the likes of such great directors as Visconti, Godard, Antonioni and Malle. He produced and co-starred in one of the biggest French box office hits of all time- Borsalino– with another hunk, Jean Paul Belmondo
Zut alors! Mon Dieu! (And in case you don’t speak, French: Ooh la la.)
And he’s not just a pretty face. I’ve seen him interviewed many times and he is smart, witty, charmant- and dangereux. Just how I like ’em.
Monsieur D. has also notched his bedpost with some of the most glamorous Grade A+ international movie beauties of all time.
Take a look at him with just one of my predecessors, s’il vous plait.
I’d like to think that she has kept the bed warm for moi. (Alain was often called “the male Brigitte Bardot, btw.)
This relationship was on screen.
Off screen, his love life is even more compliqué than mine.
The list of his romance partners would include Romy Schneider (so beautiful, so tragic) and actress Mireille Darc. During the Schneider liaison, he fathered a son during a flyer with German singer/model Nico.
He then broke off his engagement to Romy and married Nathalie Barthelemy- with whom he had another son.
Then years later, he married Dutch model Rosalie van Breeman and had two more kids with her. (Or he didn’t marry her. Wikipedia is très fuzzy on this relationship.)
He ended the relationship with Rosalie in 2002. He currently lives in Switzerland with his two youngest (beautiful) children- Anoushka and Alain-Fabien. Who, perhaps, need a step-mama who is très sympathique?
Now, that’s my “hall pass.”
Who is yours?
(And don’t be shy, ladies. You can answer this one, aussi.)
You can confide in me. I’ll never tell.
Cross mon coeur.
Ellen, When I read your subject line, I originally thought that you had misspelled “Hail” and left out the middle word “Mary.” Upon closer reading, I realize that you have proposed what us scientists call a Gedanken experiment. In real life, these things rarely work out (please refer to the following URL: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=greenberg/060307). As to the “steamy” aspect — it’s clear you need to recall the ABT service crew and tell them to do a better job with the A/C.
Nice try. A nifty feint but this is an evasion. Come on, George. Who’s yours? Everybody has one. Think “City Slickers.” “So a spaceship comes down…”
Ellen, I debated whether or not to mention “City Slickers” but since you brought it up, here goes. Many years ago, I was flying overnight to Europe, and should really have been sleeping. Instead, I was half watching the inflight movie, which happened to be the aforementioned Billy Crystal masterpiece. I had never seen it before, and never saw it again after. Despite the unlikely premise of the film, I found myself gradually sucked in. The Daniel Stern character claims that nobody would ever find out, not even Billy’s wife. With sadness in his voice, Billy says something to the effect, “I would know.” That made a profound impression on me.
Oy vey. I’m not asking you to cheat, for Pete’s sake. (and who is this “Pete” and why should we care about him?) I just want to know who you find terribly attractive. Marie Curie? Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb? Diana Dors? Who?
Isn’t “terribly attractive” an oxymoron? Well, so is my wife (*) … please … GB
(*) a graduate of Occidental College, also known as location for movies as varied as “Horsefeathers” and “Clueless,” and as the non-alma mater of the 44th president of the United States of America.
Thanks, Henny. Any time I can tee one up for you, just let me know. Best, George Burns.
Good night, Gracie.
Good night, George.
Take a look at a picture of Brigitte Bardot today. Be careful what you wish for. You have waited this long – just hold off a little longer and with emerging technology you will be able to soon do anything you want with anyone you want as a complete virtual experience but every bit as real as the real thing. For now, just buy a blow up doll.
I didn’t say I wanted to be BB. I just wanted her to hold my place dans son lit. Thanks for the tip. Is this what the AMA currently prescribes for my condition?
Derek Jeter!!!!!!!!
I believe this. Sadly.
Only one? You limit me to only one? When there was Peter O’Toole in Lawrence of Arabia? Or Alan Rickman, circa 1988 and Truly, Madly, Deeply? Or Steve McQueen? Perhaps it’s the characters I love lust after but you get my drift. There needs to me more than one hall pass.
A woman after my own heart! Read this https://www.letterfromelba.com/the-lion-in-winter/
Jessica Alba. But there are so, so many….
Adorable. And there is actually a chance that you will run into her someday. Is she a member in good standing with the North Shore Group? Honorary member?
Come to think of it, that membership could be arranged…. Provided she was intrigued. If I can sell the father-figure angle (or maybe grandfather-figure) I might just be able to pull this off…. I’ll bet James Garner could have.
And he would have made Jessica think it was all HER idea. He was smooth.
Two words: Cary Grant.
Next question………?
Perfect. Nuff said.
I must answer this in 2 parts, over 50 and under 50.
Over 50- Annette Bening
Under 50 – Cote De Pablo
Very nice. Annette was adorable as Sidney in a The American President. Cote rocks the Paz Vega thing in NCIS.
I spoke with my Hall Monitor and she said we could do a “Bob Ted carol and Alice with Warren and Annette.
Now that sounds like a plan. And something Monsieur Delon would say “oui” to. Merci beaucoup, mon ami.
You picked a guy who I thought was the best looking guy in the movies. For me, Sophia Loren. Did I spell her name right? Allan
Now you did. A minor correction. And AD is still gorgeous. He’s still the sexiest older guy in the world. After you.
Benedict Cumberbatch is at the top of my list at the moment, I have a weakness for anyone who plays Sherlock Holmes. And for some one a little less age appropriate but equally dreamy, Alan Rickman.
Thanks, Katy. You’ve hit all my weak spots.
I have a friend who looks like Delon. He’s Rumanian.
So is my mother’s side of the family. Very contentious. Still…I won’t hold that against him. Thanks, Doc.