Let There Be Light

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I went to a holiday party a few weeks ago.  Lots of friends, food and fun.  And I bumped into my old hairdresser- or should I say “former hairdresser,” John Lanzendorf?

Hairdresser du jour (and de luxe) of  Chicago’s top models, celebutantes and rich old Gold Coast widows.  I’ve known John forever.  I met him through famed fashion photographer Victor Skrebneski.

Shampoo Flashback:  In 1980 I took a good look at my fifteen year old step-daughter, Patti, lying around my house in Winnetka. She was bored, beautiful- and five foot nine.  So I took another look.  Yep, the bone structure was definitely there.  Along with the pouty lips, unusual eyes and a beautiful nose.

She looked just like this.

RDuJour.com-Flashback-Princess-Stephanie-of-Monaco-Paris-Vogue-Cover-1983

Hmmm. I bet…I wonder…?

So I put her in the car and drove downtown to Victor. I wanted to see if she had what it took to be a high fashion model. After all, nobody in Chicago was better-qualified to make that call than he.

Victor looked Patti up and down.  He had her walk across the room. And then he pronounced.

“Yes, she could do it.  She has all the right raw material.  But remember one thing.  Pretty girls quit the business every day.  It really becomes a matter of how much she wants it.  Does she want it badly enough to stick with it?  It’s a hard, critical business.”

I looked at Patti.  She looked at me.  It hadn’t been her idea, after all. But in that moment, she decided to go for it.  She nodded her head,

“Alright, then,” continued Mr. S.  “I want to get her started in runway work before I photograph her.  It will give her poise and a little experience on the cat walk.  But first thing, take her to John Lanzendorf.  She needs a haircut, and all the models use him.  Tell him I sent you.”

We did as we were bid and soon we found ourselves in a beauty salon with Patti booked in with the master himself.  Even back in 1980, John was famous for the price of his introductory haircut.  Your first one with le maître would cost you $500.

But models- even models-in-training- got a deep discount, and that’s how Patti started going to John.  I was just the chauffeur.  She wasn’t old enough to have her driver’s license yet.

So month after month, we’d make the Winnetka-to-Chicago run to his shop.  And then one day, John took a hard, critical look at me.  And my long hair.

“I want to give you a haircut,” he announced.

I was flattered, but a little concerned about his steep first-time price.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” he airily waved side my fears.  “You aren’t like a first-time client.  I’ll charge you my normal rate.

And with that, I became a Lanzendorf Girl, too.

Over the course of the next several years, I went from long hair to medium hair to a short bob until one fateful day…after six hours…

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I kept my hair short for the next fifteen years. Until one day in 1995, Nick (now a teenager) took a hard, critical look at me and summarily announced, “Grow hair, Dude.”

And so I did.

To this day.

Meanwhile back at the holiday party…

“You look gorgeous,” John told me, taking in my hair in at a glance.

“No, I don’t.  I’m the old gray mare now,” I said, self-consciously turned his compliment aside.

“And I’m the old gay mare!” he hooted.

And we roared.  John was always a stitch.

But he has a serious side too, and I knew in his line of work there was one occupational hazard.

Gossip.  He hears everything from his Girls.  The good, the bad, and the (very) ugly.

We chatted about this and that, and finally I said what has been on my mind for the past few months.

“You know, I’m always always shocked at the cruelty of the ‘mean girls’ we know.  Really, there is no end to their lack of decency and unkindness.”

Libel Lawsuit Sidebar:  No, I’m not going to name names.  But I guarantee that every one of you must know somebody who engages in despicable behavior towards their fellow man.  Or woman.

John looked at me meaningfully.

“You’re absolutely right,” John said.  “And I know plenty of them. But you know what?  My mother had an expression.  She always said, ‘Be light- or be gone.'”

Wow.

“Be light- or be gone.”

My new mantra- and resolution- for 2015.

I don’t want to get all Pollyanna about it, but from now on I’m going to take a leaf out of my friends’ books and do unto others like they do.

Life is short.  I’m going to take a moment to pass on a compliment- like my sweet friend Lori does.

I’m going to try and make everyone laugh a little more- like my funny friend Steve does.

I’m going to try and dress up a room just by regally gliding into it- like my elegant friend Joan does.

I’m going to cut to the chase and tell the truth more- like my straight-shooting friend Abbie does.

I’m going to be more considerate- like my wonderful friend Kevin is.

I’m going to invite more people out- like my generous friend (another) Joan does.

I’m going to be more of a mensch– like my kind-hearted friend Jimmy is.

I’m not going to take myself too seriously- like my clever friend Norman does.

I’m going to wear a smile on my face more- like my beautiful friend Karen does.

I’m going to include EVERYONE- like my loving friend Lili Ann does.

I’m going to know the right thing to do – and do it- even if it’s hard- like my loyal friend Herbie does.

And I’m never going to whine or complain.

Ever.

Like my father did.

So here’s a toast to 2015.  May it be exciting, happy and healthy for all of you.

And if I didn’t namecheck you, I’ll catch you next year.  My list of good examples would be longer than this post.  No one has had a better set of friends.  Or readers.

My new year will probably be another roller coaster.

But I’ll get by with a little help from my friends.

Thanks, Mrs. Lanzendorf.

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22 Responses to Let There Be Light

  1. Beautiful, Ellen. Been listening to a lot of this version recently. May the New Year bring you health and happiness!

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thanks, Doc. A very timely additional video clip. And RIP, Mr. Cocker. Some would say that his is the definitive version of the song, but for me, the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper was THE soundtrack of my 60’s.

  2. Jimmy feld says:

    As you go through this metamorphosis, please keep in mind what they say at all AA meetings “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
    The courage to change the things I can,
    And the wisdom to know the difference.”

    As for me:
    I am a nobody
    Nobody is perfect
    Therefore, I must be perfect.

    Seriously, don’t change. It may distract from your persona. Unrivaled!!!

  3. Anita Russum says:

    Back in 1970 I was working in the new Bonwit Teller Salon. It had just opened in the new John Handcock building. I remember the day John Lanzendorf came in, to apply for a job. I see it as if I am watching a film. I see him walk in the door. I don’t remember the hair cut or style he did, or his model, but I remember thinking that he will never make it in this business.

    Well, I am also not very good at match making, baking, baseball, speaking French, driving a car. I gave up driving at age 30 when a teenaged girl ran out in front of my car, I was able to stop before hitting her; but decided I had better hang up the car keys.
    I’ll stop now. No need to ramble on.

    John Lanzendorf has a passion for his work. He loves life. I’ve learned so much from him. And this morning learned something new.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thank you, Anita, for this “color” commentary. I know you are quite a legend in the beauty biz yourself, so your take is wonderful. Thank you so much and happy happy 2015.

  4. Kevin G says:

    I’m going to remember that we only live once and life is about the experiences – like my friend Ellen does. Happy New Year, dear friend.

  5. Herbie Loeb says:

    Dear Ellen – am I the “Herbie” you referenced? I really don’t think of myself as a “loyal” friend. We became friends during our mutual MRIC years (I’m still an honorary life board member) and we’ve remained friends for what is now approaching a half century! Thanks for mentioning me – I appreciated it! Happy New Year. Love, Herbie

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Of course it’s you! And I find you very steadfast in your beliefs. Just like my dear friend, Henry X. Thanks for being such a good role model.

  6. joan arenberg says:

    Dear Ellen:
    It is a continuing joy to be a friend of yours, but I admit I was perplexed as to what I would wear when I dressed up and regally glided into a room. But AHA … read on… another “Joan” who invites people out for a variety of sometimes strange, but almost always tasty events. Thank you …and may 2015 bring you and all your friends a year of health, joy and happiness. Love, “Joan”

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Both my Joans are so special. Both of you are so artistic and fabulous- each in your own unique way. Glad you spotted “you.” Our friendship has been a joy and an inspiration. And fun, too! Thank you, Joan.

  7. Steve Wolff says:

    Confuscius say:
    “New Year resolution like blind date…sounds good before trying out.”

    In most humble opinion, Honorable Blogstress, only instance change necessary, is in bathroom with pay toilet.

    Like ram say to ram, “Ewe are best even when butting heads!”

  8. Scott Himmel says:

    Well, your very own Fred Astaire, brother to your fabulous best friend Adele, loves your attitude. I do my best to live by it as much as I can. As you know, if you are the topic of gossip for many years, most of it exaggerated if just not plain wrong, success, all by itself is the best revenge. Even if it takes 10 or 15 years. To our continued success and friendship.

    Love,
    Fred, from Omaha (brother of Adele)

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Yes, the most glamorous brother/sister act in town. You both dress up any room- and my life. Thank you both for all your support.

  9. John Yager says:

    Here’s to the Happiest New Year yet, E!

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thanks, TJ. Your efforts on behalf of the wonderful “You Lived on Chicago’s North Shore” Group made this year just groovy.

  10. Herbie Loeb says:

    I figured there was only one, but wanted to be sure. By the way, I’m partial to long hair – not mine.
    Herbie

  11. Joan Himmel Freeman says:

    Thanks Miss A.Hepburn for your always flattering comments!
    Please stay your unique self – a true original. Why be like anyone
    else when there can only be the one you? To a happy, healthy, successful,
    confident New Year my dear, dear friend.
    Adele Bette B.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thank you, Ms. Bacall. Just call it hero worship. I pick only the cream of the crop as friends- and role models. And Amen. May 2015 be a good year for all.

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