True confessions time, Dear Reader.
Somewhere floating around in the ether there exists a certain rather racy video of me and another person- a guy- and well…
Not to put too fine a point on it-
We’re in bed and we’re making out like crazy.
How did this indiscreet movie come to be? Let’s climb into the Way Back Machine and set the year for 1967. And the place? Madison, Wisconsin.
I was a pre-frosh at summer school at the University of Wisconsin.
And even though I had to take two courses- P.E. and Italian as I recall- I was having an absolute blast.
Author’s Note: If you’ve never seen P.C.U. (based on the political correctness of Wesleyan University) please go watch it. It’s stupid but really funny and I still find some of the gags relevant to this cautious, squeamish anti-funny time.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s three guys who do. As far back as 2015.
Anyway, my summer school class load was not onerous, my dorm- Allen Hall- was extremely congenial, and my social life was in high gear.
I was seventeen and for the first time in my entire life, I didn’t have to be home by midnight.
I want to linger on this a moment.
My mother was afraid of everything.
Dogs, heights, strangers, airplanes, cabs, pizza delivery guys…yes, pizza delivery guys, and because she was so fearful, I had to suffer a 12:00 a.m. curfew. At Madison, we were allowed to be out until 11:00 p.m. on weekdays and 1:00 a.m. on weekends.
And though the other gals in my dorm were livid with anger at this curtailment of their civil liberties, I was over the moon with freedom. Imagine. I could walk out of the dorm in the morning and not have to report in until 11 p.m. I was in heaven.
These days, of course, curfew of any kind is gone with the wind on every college campus. No, scratch that. On a hunch, I just checked the rules at Oral Roberts University. They still have a 1:00 curfew for freshman.
…Anyway, while I was getting rid of the dreaded mandatory gym credit and minoring in Italian, I was majoring in fun.
And one day, some boy (I can not remember who) told me that for his student film class project, he had decided to a make a “A Man and A Woman” type short. And would I do him a favor and play “The Girl?”
I was flattered. AMAAW was one of my favorite movies and I fancied myself as a (très) junior version of Anouk Aimée.
Like I said, I can not remember who this budding Claude LeLouch was. But I do remember the guy chosen to play my co-star.
I seem to recall that Eddie was from Milwaukee. And he was a Pi Lam maybe? Does this ring a bell for anyone? If you know him, let me hear from you, Dear Readers.
Eddie got on board and the next thing I remember was The Director telling us that the short masterpiece was also to include a tragic car accident (me, I think) and a bed scene.
Ooh là là.
I vaguely recollect lying down on some side street in Madison for the car accident scene. Claude L. was going to use a lot of jump cuts and creative editing to piece together the montage of my demise.
But I have very clear recollections of Eddie and I rolling around in the sheets together.
No! Not like that.
“The Bed Scene” felt more like this.
We both had our underwear on and I remember that as we were rolling and rolling around the borrowed bed, right in the middle of our fake throes of passion, Eddie kept pulling the sheets UP.
What a gent.
We did that scene a few times before The Director was satisfied that he had produced a masterpiece.
I promptly forgot all about it until the end of summer when we were invited to a screening in Film Class.
I immediately covered my eyes. I couldn’t bear to watch.
As the audience hooted and hollered and called for “More!” I wanted to sink through the floor.
I think we got a giant round of applause and I hope The Director went on to fame and fortune in Hollywood.
I was mortally embarrassed.
But if any of you can lay your hands on my screen debut…
I wouldn’t mind taking a peek.