Snap, Crack(le), Pop

Raise your hand if you still eat cereal.  Hold it.  I’m not talking about muesli or oatmeal or the granola on top of your yogurt.

Hah. Those are gateway drugs.

I’m talking about the hard stuff- the junk- Sugar Pops, Honey Smacks, Honey Crisp and the biggest thrill ride of them all- and hardest to kick-

Frosted Flakes.

They’re grrrrrreat, all right.  And they must be the crack cocaine of the breakfast world.  If I eat one small bowl of them, I  am instantly taken over by the irresistible impulse to eat the whole box.

High Ho, Sugar!

I have fond memories of cereal.  I picture Guy Madiso- tv’s Wild Bill Hickok- gracing a box of Sugar Pops.

And then there was the Olympic pole vault champ Bob Richards on the front of the very first athlete-adorned Wheaties box.***

*** Did any kid actually eat Wheaties?  I remember that chewing them was like trying to ingest small bales of hay.  Yuck.

And then of course, there were all my favorite childhood morning pals like Rice Crispies, Trix, Cheerios, Kix and even Grandma’s favorite- Raisin Bran.

When I was a kid I never missed Gabby Hayes and his westerns on television.  I would sit in a rapt trance until the ending of each episode.  Gabby’s kids’ show was brought to you by Quaker Oats and they were “shot from guns.”

I hated loud noises.

I’d always race to shut off the tv set as Gabby whirled the cannon around to face his home audience.

Moving on to the next generation, I fondly remember Nick and Natasha’s favorites: Apple Jacks, Captain Crunch, Cocoa Puffs, Lucky Charms and Fruit Loops.

These days I pass the cereal aisle in Mariano’s without a backward glance.  I have whipped my Frosted Flake jones and Tony the Tiger is no longer on my back.

But I have to be honest.

As a card-carrying member of CCA (Cold Cereal Anonymous) I know that I can’t even sample one teaspoon of Rice Crispies.  It would lead me straight to the Corn Pops and then on to the Honey Smacks and then soon, I’d been main-lining the Frosted Flakes right there in the store.  I don’t need no stinkin’ milk.

It’s a constant battle.

Sigh.  Oh well. One morning at a time.

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6 Responses to Snap, Crack(le), Pop

  1. Steve Wolff says:

    I kid my wife about her daily breakfast cereal of curds and whey. It consists of some health foods store cottage cheese, kashi, flax seed oil, fish oil, frozen berries (usually blueberries) all topped off with powdered whey. Stir it all together, let the berries thaw out and presto, healthy breakfast cereal.

    Surprisingly, it tastes good and I’m sure it is good for you…but it ain’t Froot Loops, Trix or Capn Crunch!!!

  2. Steve Lindeman says:

    Saturday mornings was always a time in front of the tv watching Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Lone Ranger, Hoppy, and any other cowboy show that was on ….the list goes on. But with this viewing, I always had a huge bowl of Cheerios with seems like a ton of sugar on top. I ate other sugary cereals, but Cheerios was always my fav and still is today except it is now Honey-Nut Cheerios with a banana and not a ton of sugar. However, I lived in Wayzata Minnesota until the 3rd grade and a lot of winter mornings consisted of Cocoa Wheats or Malt-to Meal hot cereals….it was a must for those frozen Minnesota mornings and even some of those Chicago area mornings. Don’t have that problem anymore here in Tucson….sorry E…had to throw that in….Happy holidays to you and your family.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thanks for the stroll down CerealMemory Lane, Steve. Very nice. And thanks a lot for that warm weather reference. Very very mean. 😢

  3. Susan Alexander says:

    This was a fun letter to read, Ellen. I remember all these cereals and advertisements, particularly the ones you mention from our era. I do want you to know I eat dry cheerios in bed at night while I read one of my daily newspapers, a current novel, and/or Sudoku in an effort to distract myself enough to fall asleep. Thanks for the memories.

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