Trivial Pursuit

If I may direct your attention to the 1979 entry on the right Dear Readers, you will see the name “Ellen Ross” written below the title “Willie Nelson Stardusters.”

This is my listing on the roster of Hall of Famers in the National Trivia Bowl.

I’ve written about my participation in this annual event here before.

ICYMI.

Click here.

Of course, I took pride in my membership in this very exclusive clubs made up of geeks, freaks and weirdos.  My quick recall memory has always been my favorite body part and it was more than gratifying to have it tested in as meaningful way as this.

These were the best of the best in the USA and competing against- and with- these guys year after year kept me sharp- and sometimes humble.

Of course I was proud to be a member of such an elite body of trivia buffs.  I knew that I had earned my rightful place and no one could ever take that away from me.

Until now.

I haven’t competed in years but when I found out that there was a trivia contest on Monday nights in the bar where the Boyfriend (sometimes) hangs out, I was interested.

And cocky.

“I can whip their asses,” I bragged to TBF.  “No regular person can ever beat me at Trivia. And who are these guys who hang out there? Mensa candidates?  I’ve got this.  Just drive me over, order yourself a beer and sit back and watch me wax them.”

TBF was happy to oblige.

Monday night rolled around and I walked into that bar like a gunslinger.

And I was on fire.

I knew so many answers.  And I also knew that nobody else in the bar knew them.

After every section, the questions got tougher and the points increased in value.  The trivia hostess would then announce the team standings.

My team (me) was always in the lead by a mile.

And then came the final question.

“This is a multiple choice music question,” explained the quiz mistress.  “You have to bet your points before you answer and then we will tally the scores and announce the winner.”

“This will be a joke,” I smugly said to my table mate.  “A multiple choice question?  Come on.  Give me a break.”

And so I bet all my points and sat back- confident in the knowledge that I would win in a romp.

“And the final question is… according to Billboard, rank these artists as to who had the biggest earnings in 2016.  The singers are Madonna, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Garth Brooks and Katie Perry.”

OMG.

I was so screwed.  I frantically guessed and rearranged names and erased and changed my mind until time was called.

And the winner was…

And the biggest loser- the gal who bet all the marbles was…

Me.

I was not happy.

“She specifically said ‘multiple choice.’  Not ‘multiple part,'” I fumed.  “That was a gyp.”

“I told you not to bet all your points,” pointed out TBF- much to my annoyance.

“And to think that I was leading the whole way. I’ll never do that again,” I vowed.

And so last month, when I found myself back at the bar on Trivia Night, I had a plan.  No matter how well I did, I was not going to get over-confident and bet the farm.  I would be conservative in my wagering.

The category that night was “Disney Movies.”  And the bar was filled to the rafters with tables of eight and ten all whooping it up.

“How are you on Disney movies?” asked TBF uneasily as he gazed around at the heavy competition.

“That depends.  I’m pretty solid on old Disney but if they start asking new Disney, I’m toast.”

I was toast.  Questions about Frozen and The Lion King and The Little Mermaid and Beauty and The Beast dominated the contest.

And to top off my humiliation, I missed Lady and The Tramp and Old Yeller questions.***

***Ok, do you know what breed(s) of dog Old Yeller was?  No way was he part mastiff!

I got about three questions right, and at the end of the evening my one man team ranked in the bottom third.

I had lost my mojo.

And then came the final multiple PART question.

It was ranking from oldest to newest five made-for-tv Disney movies.

I thought long and hard, put Halloweentown as the oldest, stuck High School Musical in the right spot but screwed up the dates on Zenon and Cadet Kelly.

I knew I had blown it but I hadn’t bet a single point.

And the winner was…

I came in second!

My free Diet Coke never tasted so good.

You betcha.