The Whole Truth

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IMPORTANT LETTER FROM ELBA ANNOUNCEMENT:  I am taking this Thursday, Thanksgiving, off.  My grandson Sam is coming to visit, and I’ll be busy discussing world events, the thrill of fast cars and the novels of Colette with him.  So have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones and see you all again on Sunday, November 30th.

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(Photograph courtesy of Natasha Tofias.)

Now because today is Sunday, I’d like to say good morning.  And let’s talk about doughnuts.

Let me state for the record that I am not a doughnut expert.  I’d say the honors have to go to Mike, my ski instructor husband.  He loved them, and he tried to introduce me to as many of his favorites as possible wherever we found ourselves.

If we were on the east coast in upstate (WAY upstate) New York, bright and early on Sunday morning we’d go to The Donut Shop in Eagle Bay.

And then there was Hemstrought’s in New Hartford, New York.  Although they are famous for inventing the black and white “half moon” cookies so beloved by New Yorkers, Mike was cuh-razy about their doughnuts.

Out west, whenever we drove the dogs from Aspen to Chicago, we would always make our first eastbound stop at the Morning Gold Bakery in Idaho Springs.

I liked all these places.  But I wasn’t hooked, by any means.  I just didn’t see what the big doughnut deal was.

And then one fateful Sunday morning in Denver, we went to…

Lamars.

OMG.  One bite of their basic, simple glazed number and I was a goner.

Crack cocaine could not have been better than this.

Or more addictive.

And, like all junkies, I wanted everyone sharing the doughnut monkey on my back.  That is why I sent anyone heading to Denver to two must-see places.

One is The Tattered Cover Book Store.

Great.

The other is Lamars.

Better.

See for yourself.  I sent my Chicago buddy, Macario, there.  This is what Macario sent me.

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He is smiling because he’s on a Rocky Mountain sugar high.  The doughnuts there are just sick.

Closer to home we have our very own version of Doughnut Hol(e)y Wars going on right on Damen Avenue.

That’s because California-based Stan’s opened up across the street from Glazed and Infused.

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G. & I. is probably best known for their Maple Bacon Long John and Vanilla Crème Brûlée numbers.

(I’m kind of into their red velvet doughnut- too much cream cheese icing- but still, it’s pretty darn yummy.)

But give me their apple fritter any time.

Stan’s makes a mean chocolate and banana pocket doughnut and they make something called a Maple Caramel Pecan Bacon Bar that raised my cholesterol just by typing its name.

But their fritter is nothing to sneeze at.  In fact, I think it gives Glazed and Infused a run for its apple cinnamon money.

(Although to be fair, G&I’s fritter is larger.  Not always a good thing if you want to fit into your jeans.)

My gal pal Abbie is ALL about Glazed and Infused’s fritter.  I vote for Stan’s.  Things got so heated between us, as we vigorously debated the merits of our respective fritter choices, that my brother Kenny- no slouch in the doughnut department himself- had to step in and break the tie with…

Bob’s in Farmer’s Market.

He assured both of us that their apple fritter is the bomb.

‘Nuts Sidebar:  Have you seen the prices at these two Chicago places?  Ouch.  If you have to ask, you can’t afford one.

But you can keep Dunkin’ Donuts and Amy Joy.

I’m bundled up and ready to head out in search of the world’s best glaze this side of the Rockies. I’m in a careless mood and ready to throw diet caution to the winds.

I bet you dollars to doughnuts you can guess where I’m heading.

Who wants to join me?

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31 Responses to The Whole Truth

  1. Ellen, When I saw that you were going to write about doughnuts, I got all excited: perhaps a topology lesson! Hole-y cow, was I wrong. However, I am thrilled for you that you get to spend Thanksgiving with your grandson Sam … so cute and already properly attired for late-November Chicago. Enjoy the brief respite from blogging.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Thanks, George. And for people who didn’t quite catch your joke, (which is EVERYBODY now that Pierre de Fermat is dead) http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Topology

      • Here’s a joke, which is considerably harder than that captcha asking me to solve for x in the equation 7-x = 6.

        Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

        I’ll post an answer by noon, if nobody beats me to it.

        • Ellen Ross says:

          I think it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll be posting the answer by noon. If anybody gets it, I’ll eat my chicken.

          • Ellen, As per Abbie at 8:11 a.m., your safe bet doesn’t look so safe anymore. Top O'(logy) the-mornin’ to ya’ll. We’ll discuss the criteria for a Fields Medal in another seminar, but for those who can’t wait, click here for an enlightening New York Times op-ed by an eminently qualified young scholar.

          • Ellen Ross says:

            You are a proud papa and you have good reason. Can you get my pal Abbie her Zocor at cost?

        • Steve Wolff says:

          Ok, I’m just WINGING it here…why did the chicken cross the Möbius Strip…to get to the other slide. Ok, I’m just pulling your LEG, so with apologies to the late Paul Harvey, here’s the (B)REAST of the story. The chicken crossed the Möbius Strip to learn how to do the Twist! I don’t know if that’s right, but it’s not bad for 6 in the morning West Coast time! I think I can go back to bed now.

  2. Abbie says:

    There is no side to cross.
    Abbie…..and I did the captcha

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Yes! You solved the möbius riddle. The chicken crosses the road to get to the same side. I award you the Fields Medal, Abbie. And a G&I fritter.

      • Steve Wolff says:

        Ok, I’m crying FOWL (foul). George Barany (whose real last name is Brainy), said it was a chicken joke when in fact his query was a chicken riddle. I think I’ll go drown my consternation with a Bavarian Cream Doughnut from the best doughnut place I have ever tasted, Leucadia Doughnuts in Encintas California. But I really do like Dunkin Donuts and the Dunkin Donuts coffee, Great for a Sunday morning.

        • Ellen Ross says:

          That must be some little doughnut hole in the wall. Mitch Klein just name-checked it, too. I will try it on my next visit to SoCal. Thanks for playing this morning, early San Diego Chicken.

  3. Abbie says:

    Could I have a lifetime supply of apple cinnamon fritters and an IV drip of Zocor or Crestor instead of the Fields Medal?

  4. Ellen Ross says:

    Certainly! I’ll have Dr. Barany prescribe them for you. (But you’re driving, A.J.Foyt.)

  5. Ellen Ross says:

    Can somebody put up a comment about doughnuts? How did this turn into “Good Will Hunting (Your Chickens Before They’re Hatched)”?

    • What is the etymology of “doughnut” — I don’t see where the “nut” comes from? And when/why did it get shortened to “donut”? Please, I knead to no.

      • Ellen Ross says:

        I can’t help you. I’m too busy solving the space time continuum and talking on my phone and answering a text. Some of us know how to multi-task, Bennett.

  6. Mitchell Klein says:

    Found a little place on Highway 101 in Leucadia Calif.
    Hours are 5:00am to 12;00pm or when the donuts run out whichever is first. Usually closes by 10:30. Might was well just shoot sugar directly into your vein with the hot out the oven glazed. Very good coffee too. Name is Leucadia Donut Shoppe.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Hmmm. How very strange. A comment about doughnuts on this post. Thank you, Mitch. For knowing what is truly important here today. California readers take note.

    • Steve Wolff says:

      Mitch: That’s the donut shop I was talking about. if you get there after 10:30 or 11 o’clock all that’s left are three bear claws and a couple of doughnut holes!

  7. Abbie says:

    I can no longer read these comments as I NEED a fritter or a doughnut fix!!

  8. Steve Lindeman says:

    My problem is that I never saw a doughnut I didn’t like except a stale one. So with that said Ellen, you and your family have a great Thanksgiving. My next problem will be eye strain after this weekend from watching so much football and yes even what the Bears call football.

    • Ellen Ross says:

      Lol, Steve. Especially to that part about the Bears and what might laughingly be called “football.” You have a great holiday as well. AZ has to have some good doughnut places.

  9. John Yager says:

    Whenever I think of cops and donuts, I think of the infamous “Twinkie Defense” in the Dan White Moscone Milk Murder Mystery, and wonder if mainlining sugar and coffee is such a good idea for large beefy guys packing heat. Then I think of shiny, sticky, glazed donuts, and how much I love them, and how bad they are for me, and whether I can have one right now, in that order.

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